moonlight

“I no longer hold pain”,
said the serpent
      after the thousand deaths.

“But I do still carry wisdom”,
and my eyes brightened
      by promises of hope.

“Follow the silver path,
      and do not lose the vein;
thin is the thread unseen
      that explains destiny at hand.

Follow the distant light,
      but do not enter it –
its passage allows no memories,
      and can only be crossed alone.

Follow heart and soul,
      mind and thought,
           bright and dark.

Seek the meaning of all things
      but one.

And then, come back and tell them all.”

(the original date of writing was lost. circa 2018?)

Sail into nothingness
oh, forgotten traveller
thy gods have long left this land.

Oh, but I shall sing
I shall sing into my fate
to the End days I shall come
and smile when I see the storms.

Sail into nothingness
oh, dead man breathing
thy gods no longer listen.

Oh, but I shall scream
I shall scream into my path
like a dream my thoughts become
I embrace my choices as they were.

I long for a memory I never lived,
I carry those pieces of you within me.

I belong to places I have never been,
I cry for lost loves I have never felt.

I carry your anger, your spirals of darkness,
I see unknown faces when I close my eyes.

With a life not my own, I carry your tears,
I long for words lost to someone never found.

With a lie not my own, I carry your fears,
I hate whole worlds built by agonies.

I can hear old stories untold,
I can see bright colors that never existed.

And through your hate I live mine,
In pools of forgotten reasons;
In flames of mourning,
For deaths of the non-living.

Redemption.

(originally written in 04/03/2020)

From the stars,
Down comes corruption
Hopeless shifting of fates
Omens falling like comets.

From the skies, long forgotten
Down comes insanity
Nameless destruction of worlds
Sentences falling like death.

Have we misread the signs?
Were we too small for meaning?

Down comes oblivion,
Down comes the end.

We are the sacrifice of ourselves.

Will the gods ever hear me,
can I even speak their names?
They’re forgotten into shadows,
or burning down in flames;

will the waters flow to river,
will I hear the cries of souls?
Have I lost my own forgiveness,
down in spirals, into lows;

can I ever pray to demons,
will the fires even sing?
I have lost myself in mourning,
far away from anything.

___

Come to me, darling,
my threats are dying fires.

Rage comes.

It feels like a cold agitation, ice burning deep inside into core and void. It comes. It surfaces.

It’s so ancient, such a part of self in itself. Travels from times immemorial; morphing into saints and monsters, angels and demons, beauty and lust, pain and… pain. It roars.

It changes and remains the same. It grows – wasn’t it already everywhere? Everything? Every moment of every thought into quiet contemplation of blood. Wasn’t it here all this time, anyway? It stays.

It grows. It is all I see. Becomes illusion and truth. Becomes time and space. Becomes darkness and comfort. Becomes death –  Becomes death. It subsides.

It may be gone. Cold remains.

A ghost hides in the shade. 

A ghost of words. Of promises. Of prayers and forgotten moments. Of paintings and violins. A ghost that faced death, and lives in memories and dusted pieces. 

It lingers. Is it awaiting? Is it seeking? Is it desiring? …
Or is it just watching, hoping to find peace in the arms of the Lord of Time, carried by the wind when the light finds the Paths again?

I pray for this ghost. For its pain. For mine. For the uncertainty. And leave it be. It is where it should be, as all things are.

But the question… that remains in the silence, maybe to never be truly uncovered, always hidden in the deviate ways and blurred lines of the now:

Who am I? 

(originally posted on  February 11, 2015)